Terrible Days

Life is hard enough when you have a job to go to. For a caregiver, it’s so much more complicated. Now, caregiving encompasses all sorts. Moms, Dads, grandparents who are raising their grandkids. All of that is caregiving although the word traditionally refers to those who are caring for someone who is incapable of caring for themselves.

My Dad’s PCP prescribed a  new medication for him to help with the neuropathy that he’s not having issues with. The way she stated it the medication can actually help some nerves to grow back.

I don’t believe that.

Fast forward a month and my Dad can’t focus long enough to hold a conversation. He’s very unsteady on his feet and is sleeping 12 – 16 hours a day. It’s gotten so bad that dialysis is calling me to tell me what happened during dialysis sessions because they know he won’t remember to tell me or remember instructions they gave him.

This is sad to me because I know on some level that the PCP meant well but my Dad has lost ground. I only hope he gets it back.

Yesterday was hard. I had to do a bit of all three jobs and I had to do it all in one day. Dad ‘remembered’ that I need to order his medication like five times so he told me all five times about it. Then there’s the endless probate. Thank heavens we’re nearing the end of that. I hope. And then there’s working. I’ve had people tell me I shouldn’t be working, not with all the responsibilities I have. But I get something out of my work. I get personal growth and I learn how to not to murder people who intentionally irritate me because they think if they make a big stink and get messy and loud I’ll give in and give them the fan they’re not eligible for. Um. No. I will, however, call security.

So it’s today now and hopefully will be a slower day, one where I can think more and not make snap decisions that end up getting me stuck in traffic because “I haven’t gone home this way in a long time. I wonder why.”


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